Jennifer Lopez gets candid about her past relationships and what she’s learned about love over the years.
During her first appearance on SiriusXM’s The Howard Stern Show on October 15, the Kiss from the Spider Woman actress opened up about her romantic life and revealed that despite her many high-profile relationships and marriages, she doesn’t believe she was ever truly loved.
When host Howard Stern asked if she had ever experienced true love, Lopez paused before answering, “No,” although she admitted that she genuinely loved others.
Reflecting on those experiences, the 56-year-old said, “What I learned isn’t that I’m not lovable — it’s that they’re not capable. … They don’t have it in them. And they gave me what they had. They gave me everything, every time. All the rings, all the things I could ever want. The houses, the rings, the marriage. Everything. But…”
The singer and actress, who has been married four times, including most recently to Ben Affleck, said the root of her love struggles came from within.
“I didn’t love myself,” she admitted.
Lopez, who shares 17-year-old twins Max and Emme with ex-husband Marc Anthony, said her most recent divorce became a turning point.
“When I got divorced the last time, it was the best thing that ever happened to me,” she said.
“Because it really took me on a journey to… I mean, I had a religious coach, I had a therapist, a relationship therapist, an individual therapist, I had a coach to understand addiction. I had everything. I was like, ‘I’m going to figure this out if it’s killing me.'”
Through that process she discovered a hard truth: “The heart of the thing is you – it’s no one else.”
Now, Lopez says she has reached a place of peace and self-acceptance.
“I can sit here a lot more confident and aware of the things that have happened to me… and know who I am and really appreciate that person,” she said.
“[I] I feel really comfortable and good at being myself, with all the good sides and all kinds of complicated things.”
When Stern asked if she’s ever had that kind of mutual love with someone, Lopez simply replied, “Glimpses.”
He replied, “I wish that for you,” and Lopez smiled and thanked him.
Just a week earlier, Lopez had spoken about her reputation as a romantic during an appearance on Las Culturistas, explaining that her belief in love has defined much of her life and career.
“I can fall in love with anyone,” she joked, before clarifying that her openness comes from the fact that she is a “true romantic.”
Reflecting on her chemistry with various co-stars over the years, from Matthew McConaughey to Ralph Fiennes, Lopez added, “I can kind of look past this and kind of appreciate who the person is inside and really fall in love with that person in that moment, as they say, between the action and the cut.”
Her reflections on both podcasts show a woman who, after decades in the spotlight and in love, has finally come to terms with the most important relationship of all: the one with herself.
